Sparks: 5 Ideas To Change The Way You Think

by | Sep 18, 2022 | Personal Writing

This is my first Sparks episode – where I share some of my thoughts and ideas around different topics that had sparked insight in me over the week prior.

We cover:

  • What’s actually happening when you play it safe with your content.
  • The results of some market research I’d completed.
  • What doing 30 days of Yoga with Adriene had taught me.
  • The latest motivation and development of my relationship with money and abundance.

Prefer to Read? Here’s the Podcast Transcript:

Welcome to the Story by Design Show you beautiful human, and welcome to this next episode.

So this episode is a little bit different from the ones that I have recorded and released previously, in that I am titling it a Sparks episode. Within this, I’m going to be sharing with you some of my thoughts and ideas around different topics that have ultimately sparked insight in me in the past week or so. So in this episode, I’m going to start by explaining where the inspiration came from to do this. I’m going to be sharing with you around what’s actually happening when you choose to play it safe with your content, I’m going to be sharing my insights of the market research that I’ve recently done. Also some thoughts I’ve had since doing the 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene this year, and also my latest motivation and latest development around how I see making money and my relationship with money and how I am now choosing to use abundance in a way that sits with me, and sits with my spirit in a much more comfortable way. I hope you enjoy the episode. And if you do, because this is a new format I’m trying out, I’d love if you can come over to my Instagram, which is @BeckyLoydPack and let me know. Send me a DM, or find the post where I’m sharing this and let me know in the comments that you liked this episode? And of course, if you want to share it with your friends, that will be much appreciated. But yeah, I really loved recording this and I hope you find it useful. And I hope it offers you some different ways of thinking to expand your mind and spark something new.

So I want to kick this episode off by really just sharing where the inspiration for it came from. And that was that I was scrolling away on Instagram, like we all do. And I saw a post that really just resonated and landed with me and I’m going to share it now. And it was by @Simone.Grace.Seol I don’t know if I’ve said that right, I’ll make sure the link in to the post is in the show notes (ed: Link) because credit where credit is due. But essentially her post to ask the question really about whether we hoard all of our ideas? And in the caption it read, when you’re in idea conservation mode, your best ideas, stay your best ideas. When you’re in abundance, your best ideas keep getting better and better. I’ve kind of paraphrased that, but it really landed with me because I am someone that always has ideas, ideas for content, ideas, for offers, just all sorts, I’m constantly getting new ideas popping into my head, but what often happens is that I’m like, “Oh my God, yes, I’m gonna do that.” and then I’ll write it down. Or maybe I’ll do a little bit of work on it. But I never get around to releasing it because perfectionism is something that I personally really, really struggle with. And often it can prevent me from actually putting stuff out there because it’s not perfect. It’s not fully thought through. And sometimes I worry that I won’t do it justice. And so my ideas, stay either complete ideas and list on a post it note somewhere, or I keep a lot of these in Evernote, or I will begin to develop them, and then be like, cool, I just need to edit that a few more times and then I’ll release it. And this is a pattern. This is a pattern that I have. And when I saw this post, that essentially, if we hoard them, if we keep our ideas close to us, we’re not really allowing that flow to come through.

And so in the spirit of messy action, which you will hear me talk about a lot if you follow me anywhere on the internet, I decided to start doing some podcast episodes, which essentially are me just sharing some of the ideas that have landed and sharing them in the hope that they sparked a moment of insight for me, and so maybe they can spark a moment of insight for you so they’re going to be very conversational. Once I’ve finished recording them, I will go back and do a nice little summary at the beginning of the episode about what you can expect. So you don’t have to listen being like “is this going to be relevant to me?”, you can pick and choose if you think this episode will be something that is useful. But really, I just wanted to take the opportunity to let my ideas flow and get them out there into the world. Because like I said, they’ve created moments of shifts and thinking for me, and I want to be able to do the same for you if I can. Just a caveat: my cats currently are wandering around the room where I am filming this. So there is a chance that you may hear meows, you may hear the little ring of their bells, it’s a common pester me. But they seem pretty settled at the moment, I just wanted to put that caveat in there. So you can potentially expect to hear some kitty sounds.

Okay, so the first thing that I want to touch on, the first idea I want to share and discuss with you, is around a post that I saw on Instagram again, from @tobemagnetic. I will make sure again, that’s linked in the show notes (ed: Link). However, there was a post that said: “Hiding doesn’t keep you safe, it just keeps you disconnected from genuine intimacy”. And again, this is something that really landed with me, because a lot of the work that I do, that I’ve discovered through, you know, much analysis of my own messaging and speaking to people, is really helping you, my audience and female business owners, create genuine connection with other human beings. A lot of our messaging is around that. When we work on our messaging, what we’re really doing is working on what we want to mean to people, and ensuring we have the right aspects to our communication, to create that meaning. And so when I saw this post around that hiding doesn’t keep you safe, it just keeps you disconnected from genuine intimacy it really connected with me, because I think what I often see with people’s messaging, when they create content, is that we keep it mainstream out of fear of judgement. We want to appeal to as many people as possible, we want people to like us. And so we self censor to a certain degree, we dilute down our ideas, and maybe don’t really express how we truly feel about something because it might be a bit controversial, it might open us up to conflict, or generally keep us safe from that feeling of fear we have, whatever that’s connected to for you. But what happens when we do this, what happens when we self censor, when we dilute, it really does dilute the connection that we also have with our audience. And I know when I see a lot of advice out there around, you know, creating controversial content, or creating clickbait titles or things like that, it’s generally approached from the perspective of how to boost your engagement, or how to please the algorithm, or a really sort of calculated move to get more eyes on your content. And if you’re like me, somebody who is generally a little bit more sensitive to these things, and very conscious of not wanting to manipulate people in any way, and really empower them with what we do, sometimes we can shy away from saying things that might feel in line or feel a little bit too close to some of the tactics that we have been touted by other people. And so I just, when I saw this post, it gave me a really refreshing perspective, which is why I wanted to share it with you, as well to hopefully help you take one step closer to being more true and honest and authentic with your content and drop some of that fear that you might have around expressing what you really want to say or being the way that you really want to be online. And understand that all it’s really doing is keeping us one step further away. And understand that when we do this, when we downplay what we want to say all it’s really doing is keeping us one step removed from the people we actually want to help.

There is obviously a whole lot that comes with this in terms of our mindset and the way we think about things, you know, there’s potentially some things that might come up for you around the people pleasing that you actually want to appeal to as many people as possible, or you are terrified of being cancelled, which is definitely a fear of mine, I think it can be pretty brutal out there. And I don’t necessarily agree with cancel culture, but it is part of the world that we exist in. So this idea of stepping out and kind of sticking your neck out in a way for your own beliefs and your own perspectives and own views can feel really, really scary for a number of reasons. But if you can connect to this idea on a meaningful level that when you actually do stick your neck out, you are creating an opening for deeper connection with the individuals that you want to help. And yes, your content will put some people off, but ultimately those people are not ones that are ready to work with you yet or ready to go on that journey with you yet. And even in doing so in and being a bit controversial, you might actually help somebody, you know who, and somebody is then triggered by what you put out there, you may spark a little journey of transformation for them, you never know. So this idea really, really landed and resonated with me and really lined up with a lot of what I believe in, because obviously, my mission here is to get your expressing what you really want to express and creating genuine, more authentic connections, because I think the world needs that. I think we’re all in a place of, one has a delusion, so I’m gonna say delusion, where we believe and we might feel connected in the sense of we have followers that we speak to, we see what our friends are up to all the time. But a lot of the time, I believe this is false connection, and there is still a gap between you and the person whose content you are consuming on some way. And true intimacy is often not achieved. So a takeaway, I suppose, for you from this little insight is that hiding, and actually playing safe in some way, doesn’t actually keep you safe. It just keeps you disconnected from genuine intimacy, and meaningful connection with the people that you’re actually trying to help.

Okay, so this next little spark that I want you to consider is actually inspired by the market research that I’ve been doing recently. So last week, I had a total of six market research calls, and I’ve got another one next week. But in doing this process, I really approached it with curiosity. And again, I think this is often a little bit against the grain of maybe what a lot of advice on the internet will tell you to do with market research. But I believe there’s a place for both schools of thought. So to elaborate; when I was originally conducting this market research, it was to essentially clarify my upcoming offer that I’m releasing, which is The Brand Chrysalis. And it was a group programme that I’ve had in mind, and actually is not a group programme, it’s a group experience. However, it’s an idea that I’ve had in mind, and I’ve sort of been sitting on since early November. But I was coming up to the point where I wanted to release it into the world but something wasn’t quite sitting right with me. And I knew in part, from my conversation with my mindset coach, that this was because I felt somewhat disconnected from the people that I wanted to serve.

I knew I hadn’t had open and honest conversations with my audience to really find out what was going on for them and ensure that everything I was saying was grounded in their reality, versus my own reality. And so I entered into these market research calls with the intention of really just clarifying this specific offer and sense checking whether the messaging around it was going to be applicable. Now, what I had originally planned to do was go online and see what kind of market research questions were recommended, how to get clarity around this. But I followed my intuition and decided that I would just hold the calls and see what happened. I had a couple of questions jotted down that were very specific about whether you know, people tend to prefer group, or what fears, what are the pros and cons that they see as being part of a group, so I could make sure I was clear on that and didn’t get lost in my own views on it and my messaging and make sure I’m actually addressing people’s concerns. But other than that, I was pretty open with the conversations, I tended to just open up with what’s going on for you right now? What are you working towards? What struggles are you having with that? And I really made a conscious effort to not put my own words in their mouth. This was a bit of a struggle for me, I will be honest, but mainly because a lot of my role and a lot of the way I help people is by really listening to them and then reflecting back what they’re saying in more concise language. And so I was just being really conscious heading onto the market research goals, that I didn’t do that, that I really let their communication be messy, to be honest and see where the conversation went naturally, without inserting too much of myself into it. And I had this revelation that when we are conducting market research, and when we are creating offers and when we are thinking about how we want to speak to people and what we want to put out there, there is a question to ask ourselves around, are we more bothered about being right or are we more bothered about being of genuine service to people? So what I mean by this is, if my desire to be right, was bigger than my desire to be of service, I would have entered into these market research calls trying to prove my own theories. So trying to prove the the ideas that I had around about what this offer would be useful for, and where I saw it fitting, I would be trying to push the conversation in that direction to get confirmation. But I know with a lot of the women I speak to and the women I want to help, they would likely agree with me, but they wouldn’t then be getting to the heart of what’s really going on. Because I will be putting words in their mouth, essentially. And so I had to drop this desire to push my own ideas on these calls to insert my own beliefs, and be really, really open to what people were actually saying to me, even if it differed to what I thought going into these calls. And this is proved incredibly beneficial this perspective for me.

So for full disclosure and honesty, I went into these calls with this group experience in mind, I’ve been having lots of like meditation time, and really working on you know, my own beliefs. And for me, I was like, oh, okay, it’s going to be around authenticity, right? It’s going to be helping people be more authentic in their content. Because really, that’s what I want to be working on right now so it’s been big in my mind. But through these conversations, what I found a lot of people were talking about was consistency. Now consistency isn’t that sexy. So it’s obvious, really why I wouldn’t be like, “Oh, I’m gonna do a thing called around consistency.” Because talking about authenticity is as a spiritual being, if you like, is way more juicy than talking about consistency. But this is where if I had chosen to lead these conversations, I’d have been going in going. “So do you think you’re authentic with your brand?”, or I’m not saying I wouldn’t necessarily said that. But that would have been the focus for the conversation. And I would have never allowed any space for these other topics to come up to inform how I actually wanted to help people.

So I want you to maybe think about with your own, whether it’s research that you’re doing, when you’re writing website pages, designing offers, creating anything to serve people, just really sit with yourself and ask the question, Am I more committed to proving that I am right? Or am I more committed to being of genuine service? Because when we commit to genuine service, we open ourselves up to people’s experiences, we are able to meet them where they are, and meet them in their own reality, if you like. And yes, we may still be delivering the exact same thing at the end of the day. However, when we can frame it in a way that is relevant, that is meaningful to them, we allow much more space for empathy, we allow a much more space for connection and understanding. And our potential to have more impact in the world exponentially grows because of that. So maybe just sit with that one for a while. And it’s been really useful for me. And I think I’m going to write this down or have written a post it note or something, and just have it as that check in of like, okay, what’s leading the conversations that I’m having at the moment? What’s leading the content that I’m putting out? Is it my ego? Or is it my desire to serve.

So this next spark has actually come from doing the 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene. Now, I’m on day 29 today, and with tomorrow being the final session, I had a moment of reflection of how it’s gone. So last year, in 2021, it was the first time that I’d done any of the yoga sessions with Adrienne. But me and my husband committed to doing the 30 Days of Yoga in January in 2021. And the experience that I’ve had year to year has actually been completely different. So last year, when I was doing it for the first time, I found it a bit of a struggle to keep going. I had days where I really didn’t want to where I had to force myself, where it felt imperfect, or I didn’t feel like I properly set up for it when my resistance was pretty high. I did still complete the 30 days last year and at the end of it, I felt amazing, and had the intention that I was going to actually continue the rest of the year. But I think I maybe did two more sessions and then stopped. But when I entered 2022, when the year began, I was like no, I remember at the end of doing it last year, I felt really great. So I’m gonna do it again this year. However, I’m going to take my learnings and I’m going to change the way I approach it.

So where last year, I was doing it first thing in the morning just after I’d woken up, I didn’t feel great. I’m not a natural morning person. It takes me a little while to get going. Trying to do it that time was not the optimum time for my body and me physically, however, because of the way I had my day structured it’s the only time I could really fit it in. So instead what I’ve done this year is decided that okay, I know the morning doesn’t work for me. So why am I trying to force that? I am my own boss. I can structure my days how I want. Why do I feel like I need to be part of this rigid idea of morning movement like move first thing, and I do actually go for a walk every single morning, but I was definitely susceptible last year to the idea that I want to be one of those people that does yoga first thing in the morning, and then is great all the rest of the day. Whereas this year, I got realistic about who I am and what works for me. And so I’ve been doing yoga at 12:30 every day instead. And honestly, my resistance has been nowhere near the same as it was the year before.

So why am I sharing this? Why do I think this is a relevant spark for you guys on this, essentially, this business podcast? Why do I think this is useful? Well, really, it’s just a reminder that you are your own boss, you get to decide. I mean, obviously, if you are a parent, there will be other restrictions. I’m not saying everybody has complete freedom to do what they wish, however, I just want you to remember that if you are making a decision about when you do something, or how you do something, or how you kind of set yourself up based on what other people have told you, or what you see online versus what actually works for you, you can make it so much harder for yourself, instead of actually working with your own body, your own being. So I really want you to just reflect on that. And if there’s anything at the moment that you’re trying to maybe stay consistent with or anything you’re doing. Just think about when am I actually doing this? And why is it for my own benefit? Because I know that’s actually going to work for me? Or is it because it’s coming from a place of doing what everyone else does or trying to fit in?

So an example in terms of business might be content creation, right? You might be thinking, I consistently try to batch create content for the month ahead, because that’s what I’ve been told I should do. And on paper, it sounds logical, right? I’ll be prepped for the month ahead, I get to do it all in one, go. Magic. But in reality, you might realise that that really doesn’t work for you. And actually creating on a daily basis allows you to be much freer, allows you to be much more genuine, your content is so much better, when you don’t feel the need to try and create it a month in advance. And I speak from personal experience here whenever I do pre create content and pre schedule it. And when it goes out, I just feel like the quality is not the same as when I’m creating in the moment. Or when I’m sharing from a place of I’ve witnessed this today I’ve seen this in my reality, this is a topic I know people are struggling with. So I’m really going to connect with that place, right and share from here in the moment. I know if I look at my data, when I create in the moment and share in the moment, my engagement is so much higher, the response I get is so much truer rather than me trying to pre plan so heavily or write in the future. But it’s the same thing, right? It’s the same thing as I’ve experienced with yoga, is we’re finding what works for you, versus what everybody else, or what you’re seeing is the common way that people do it and just giving yourself the chance to be curious.

Now the other thing I want to say on this, with regards to my experience of doing 30 Days of Yoga, I learned a lot from doing it last year. And if I hadn’t had that experience in 2021, with my first time, I wouldn’t have been able to make the improvements and adjustments to make it so much easier this time. So if you’re doing anything for the first time, if you’re trying out a new habit, let it be messy, let it be imperfect, let it be hard, because when it’s hard, you can then be like, “Oh, look, I thought this was going to be easy. But actually a meeting all of these restrictions are meeting all of these barriers to me doing it. Okay, what can I learn from this? How can I set myself up better next time to be more efficient in whatever way that is?” Give yourself the grace to be messy. Give yourself the grace for it to be hard. But don’t take it as a that means I’m not any good. Take it as a this process doesn’t work for me, therefore, what can I learn and change from it to make sure that the next time I do it or whatever, as I adjust this routine, or the schedule of whatever you’re doing, I can make it better? So thanks, Adriene for my lesson. And I am holding the intention again to continue with yoga for the rest of the year beyond this 30 day experience because the daily movement and the small doses of strength work stretching work has been incredible for me, but I do feel going into this I have a much higher chance of success because it really naturally flows into my day now it doesn’t feel like a struggle. Some days, yes, it is hard, but because I have set that intention, I just show up to the mat and then the rest will take care of itself.

Okay, so the final spark I want to leave you with today is around my new motivation for making money. I’m not going to say this is now my only motivation for making money, but it’s a new facet that I have discovered this week to my desire for abundance, which has helped me connect with it on a really deep level. And I wanted to share this because I know when you are like me, and maybe a bit more spiritually inclined, you haven’t set up your business purely to make tonnes of money, it’s a great benefit and you love yes, the your earning potential isn’t capped, or you don’t have to apply for a pay rise or stay stuck in bands or anything like that. That’s great. But your primary motivation is for helping people, it’s for making a difference in the world. It can make our relationship with wanting money, a little bit grey and a little bit complicated. However, I’ve been doing a lot of work around this recently about really what that next level Becky is showing up like, beliefs she has, and I had a bit of a moment where I redefined my desire for making money. And it’s this: money catches people’s attention. It’s undeniable, even in myself, it’s undeniable that whenever I see anything that essentially implies, I can make more money from doing it. They have my attention. It is there. Even though I wish that I was a super spiritually enlightened being. And yes, I work towards enlightenment. Of course. The reality is, I’m still in a situation where I want more money, I want more abundance in my life, I want to be able to purchase things without having to go and check my bank account first. I want to be able to splash out and have amazing experiences that feel like a luxury. I want to be able to buy gifts for my family, my husband and spread joy in the world that way. Absolutely. And so it’s this part of me that anytime I see anything around, like look at the results they’re getting for people look at the results they’ve created, my attention has been caught.

Now in the past, and I still strongly believe that we do not have to promise financial results to get attention. By the way, that is absolutely not my belief. And I will never, in my own messaging, say that my work will get you to £10k months or whatever, that will never be the angle I take because, again, my main focus is helping you guys develop meaningful connections with your audience that have potential to lead to sales that have potential to lead to lifelong loyalty, that have potential to allow the right people to really value what you do. So yes, as a side effect of creating meaningful connection, money is definitely something that is achievable. However, this will never be what I lead with when I talk about it. However, in contrast to that, I know that if I am able and open and accepting and excited about making a lot of money for myself, and I’m able to demonstrate that that is possible, it is going to draw more attention to my work, which I absolutely believe in. I absolutely believe that more people would benefit by being aware of how I could help them, by being aware that my own views about empathy led marketing and permission based sales. And being conscious in the way we communicate with each other. I believe that if my work truly reached the corners and the places that it could be, there are a lot of business owners, entrepreneurs out there that would benefit that would be more at peace in sharing that own message that will be more at peace in selling their work in making money. And as a ripple effect of that they will then go on to change more lives for the better. And so I am now completely open and excited and accepting of the idea that you know what, I’m gonna make a lot of money because I am ready to catch people’s attention. I am ready for my work to reach more people. And as much as I wish that we lived in a world where my work speaks for itself. And as much as I wish that we didn’t all idolise money in the same way. I am super conscious that this is the world we live in. It’s the world I live in, right? It’s my own behaviour. And that’s because the nature of our culture is one that requires money to buy things. And I’m not saying materialistic things will make you a better person. But I know that having things that bring you joy will help you amplify your own sense of joy. It’s about amplification. Right? And I know that if I have more money, my work may amplified. My joy can be amplified. And so I am really redefining the way I see abundance.

But I just wanted to share this reflect share with you again. Because I’m aware a lot of people do have an interesting relationship with money. And particularly when you are somebody who is working for the greater good of the world. Sometimes it feels a little bit crass or like it undermines our work. When we think about sharing our results that we have, or even celebrate what we’ve been able to achieve ourselves financially, it can sit a little uncomfortably. However, if you reframe it and really recognise that money captures people’s attention, and your work is worthy of attention, you don’t need to downplay or down-sell your success, you can be loud and excited and passionate about it. And you don’t need to actually promise results to people, you don’t need to promise that you’re going to get them financial results, that’s a different conversation, but in accepting abundance, in opening yourself up to it, we can start to shift from this sense of lack and fear around what people might think, if we have money, to accepting that actually, because of the way the world works, or culture in societies and online space that we live in. We know that in doing this in by embracing our own abundance, yes, it may trigger some people, but it will capture attention. And again, your work is worthy of that attention. I am now super excited about all the money I’m going to make. I don’t feel scared of it anymore. And it doesn’t sit uncomfortably with me like it used to. Because I know that making more money, being able to celebrate my success and show that empathy based marketing, permission based sales and conscious communication are viable business strategies in our world. And the more of us that opt this, the healthier relationships we’ll have, the healthier mindsets we’ll have because we will no longer feel as though we need to play on people’s sense of lack or unworthiness to create success in our lives. So I offer this out as a reframe for you take it or leave it. It’s simply here as a potential spark to change the way you think about abundance.

That’s the last of the sparks for this episode. If you’ve liked this format, if you’ve found it useful, if it’s created any shifts for you in your thinking, I would really love it if you could let me know so that I know whether to keep making this content, whether this is a format you like, or whether to stick to what I know already and what I have been doing so far to date. So, do that by commenting below or contacting me on Instagram @BeckyLloydPack.

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